First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.

I don’t know why I try and tell people, men in particular how I really feel. Considering they are from Mars and all. I can say one thing and they will hear something completely different. Even when S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G it out for them it’s like they have dyslexia, because they see something far different then what I wrote. Sometimes they'll ignore what I’ve said or written and will speak on something that has no relevancy to what was just spoken on.

Now there are some topics they will pay attention to; sex, sex with me, sex with me and another woman; well you get the general theme. Let me be fair, men do respond to sport topics and just about anything else besides how they really feel emotionally.

It’s like they feel if they don’t talk about it doesn’t exist. “I see the elephant, she sees the elephant. Sshhh, if we don’t talk about it, it doesn’t exist.” I’ll never understand why men given opportunities to love and be loved don’t acknowledge their feelings until it’s too late. Seeking second chances to prove they can be reciprocal in love but rarely doing anything to about it. Hurt and sullen, they take their wounded selves to the next woman hoping she can distract him long enough to heal his wounds and hide his heart. Not realizing they are perpetuating a cycle of disappointment and apathy. Men place the love they lost on a pedestal and lock their hearts away. Making it nearly impossible for any other woman to come along and show him another kind of love.

Each time the man day dreams of his lost love it becomes more sacred, more intense, more everything; making it nearly impossible for a new woman to get anywhere near the love he’s fabricated in his head. Eventually he’ll settle for something similar, but he’s never really happy as he imagined he would be with the lost love.

Ah…Men and love. A tangent from today’s title but I just had to get it out. I suppose in a roundabout way what I just expounded on is related to today’s topic. Jill Scott has this new song titled “Still Here”. It’s the last song on her CD, and it beautifully expresses how I feel. Listen to it sometime and you’ll begin to understand who I am. You’re probably wondering by now…who am I really….


I am who I am …how you perceive me is another matter.